Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
This baby is an asshole
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
