Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
you didnt know i had herpes?
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
