sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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