I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
handjob tips. give me some.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
