Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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