Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
