We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
