some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
