i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
