Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize