I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize