was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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