I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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