i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
