He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
