she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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