ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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