don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
