it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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