My boss' voice literally gives me gas
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
My boob is missing a layer of skin
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
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