Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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