If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
