EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
