Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
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