One girl and one boy is just not enough.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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