So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
