and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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