we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize
