Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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