i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
accomplished twins. life is a go
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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