my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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