I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
The uberlube is also flammable
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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