your room smells of hookers.
And success
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
