No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
you inspire me to be a worse person
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
