She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize