I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
