she looked like the before picture.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
