And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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