what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
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