apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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