Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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