i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
