tell your sister to shave her snatch
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
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