It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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