ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
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