Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
