So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
