yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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