I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
and she was petting her beer can
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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