I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
