they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
