Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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