he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
