"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
My boob is missing a layer of skin
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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