Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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