im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
