LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
