I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
